Saturday, October 18, 2014
birthday wishes
I hate this. How is this my life? I really thought this birthday would be better than the last. But it's not. I just want her. I want her back. All I want is Sloan. I want to go back. Back to the girl who loved to celebrate her birthday. Back to the girl who declared October her "birthday month". Back to the happy girl who couldn't wait to announce to her family - on her birthday - that she was pregnant. I want to go back to that birthday. And I want to know then what I know now. I want to have a chance to see what my life would be like with Sloan here. I want to have been able to do everything in my power to deliver her - breathing and alive. I want to have a chance to be her earthly mother - not just the mommy to an angel. I would give anything to go back. But this is my life now. And I can't go back. Now I'm the girl who is just ready for this day - this reminder - to be over. Now I'm the girl who cries on her birthday and doesn't even want to celebrate it. Today I'm the girl who's crying, telling God "all I want is Sloan" and then feel this kick in my stomach from the baby I'm carrying now. How awful is that? How selfish is that? To have a healthy baby growing inside of you but wishing for nothing more than the baby you've buried? Of course I want this baby. I prayed so hard for this baby. I pray so hard every day for this baby. And I'm so ready to have this baby - here, healthy & alive. But I want Sloan too. I will always want Sloan. And I will always hate that I will never have her physically here. With me. Where I feel like she belongs...
Monday, October 13, 2014
Week 27
Gender: still a SuRpRiSe - starting to question my "mother's intuition"... but still mostly think boy! I can't wait to find out!
Weight gain: 10 lbs
Next Appointment: 10/16/2014
Stretch marks: not yet!
Belly button in or out: half in - half out
Sleep: better this week! Less interruptions to empty my bladder... which I appreciate!
What I miss: still miss being the naive pregnant girl that thinks everything is going to be ok... The further I get, the harder it gets to just "know" that everything will be ok. This week I've felt like this pregnancy is the second hardest thing I've ever done in my life, and by far the scariest. I thought being pregnant with Sloan after a miscarriage was hard - which was part of the reason I was SO private with her pregnancy... but that has nothing on a pregnancy following a full term stillbirth. I know that just because I've already gone through this once, does not mean I'm immune from it happening again. & I feel like I am constantly waiting for the ball to drop. Things the old me knew how to rationalize are now things that automatically make me think something is wrong. It's like the sane part of me knows that everything is ok & knows the probable explanation, but the question "what if it isn't" is always in the back of my head.
Last Saturday (10/4) after my jog my left calf was a little sore. I didn't think much of it, just thought it was a normal muscle ache from overdoing it a tad. But when it didn't go away, part of me was convinced it was a blood clot. I knew it was HIGHLY unlikely that I had a blood clot since I'm on Lovenox & Aspirin, and I didn't have any other signs or symptoms, but there that voice came again saying "but what if you do". So I went to my primary care doctor, and he assured me that he did not think I had a blood clot, but he thought I needed to take a break from jogging to help with the pain. (of course being the non-compliant patient that I am & thinking I would feel worse if I didn't jog, I didn't take his advice and the pain went away eventually)
What I'm loving: getting closer to getting this baby here!
Movement: Baby = lots! ME = I'm re-learning how to move with a mini watermelon attached to my abdomen!
Cravings: FAIR FOOD!!!! corn dogs, funnel cakes, 4H cheeseburgers, etc - and I satisfied ALL cravings Wed, Thurs, & Fri at the Austin Co. Fair :)
Queasy or sick: Nope!!
Favorite moment this week: nothing specific comes to mind - so just making it through another week :)
Looking forward to: having this baby!
This week was such an emotional roller coaster for me. It started Sunday when we weren't able to decorate Sloan's grave for fall like I had hoped we would be able to. (I was actually wanting to get it done by the 1st, but for various reasons that didn't work out either) When Brady told me Sunday that we wouldn't be able to do it that day, I just started crying. I had so many different emotions come over me. I felt like a horrible mother because her grave looks so terrible. I felt like Sloan was being put on the "back burner" - not only by her parents, but by other family members as well. I felt embarrassed & guilty that I had let her grave get so "ugly". We did go clean it up, which made it look a little better... But still not as good as I thought it should. I felt guilty that we have still not even looked at headstones. I felt like people just think that because I'm pregnant again, I'm "happy" again. Don't get me wrong - I am happy, but it's a very different kind of happy...
By Thursday we STILL weren't able to fix her grave, which lead to an even bigger breakdown and all of those exact feelings coming back, but this time one hundred times stronger... it is SO hard to explain those feelings.......
Friday we went to look at headstones. We found a style that we both like, but are torn between 2 colors and have no clue what exactly we want to put on it. I didn't want to just rush into ordering something so personal, so we are trying to think about what we want on it. Who knows how long that will take, but I feel better knowing that at least we got the process started...
Some days I can't help but think "what if" - what if I had Sloan with me? I probably wouldn't have this child on the way... What if something happens to this baby too? I can not lose another baby. I get so scared some days... well.. most days...
As grateful as I am for all Sloan has shown me - some days I just wish this wasn't my story...
Saturday, October 4, 2014
Week 26
Gender: still a SuRpRiSe - mom still thinks boy - & dad FINALLY made a guess after seeing a little glimpse of baby's face - he said after seeing it's face it "kinda looks like a boy"! I told him I hope it's not a girl so we don't have to tell her that her daddy thought she looked like a boy! :-P We will know for sure in a little over 9 weeks!!!!
Weight gain: 10 lbs - I started noticing that my rings are really loose, almost to the point of falling off! Completely opposite of what I thought would be happening! I was able to wear my rings throughout my entire pregnancy with Sloan, but I don't remember them ever feeling looser!
Next Appointment: 10/16/2014
Last Appointment: 10/2/2014
Such a big appointment! <for a few reasons!>
This was the dreaded one hour glucose tolerance test day for me! With Sloan I was so confident that it would be a breeze & felt certain that I would pass without any problems... and then: I FAILED! Then came the first attempt at the three hour test - which I threw up within 10 minutes of starting, and FINALLY passed the third time around with flying colors! So to say I was a tad nervous about this one may be a slight understatement. Although I did feel cautiously optimistic since my endocrinologist has been monitoring me so much closer this time compared to how I was monitored on that end of things last time. Thankfully, I PASSED on the first try this time!! Such a relief!
We also had another ultrasound - which always makes me happy! I love knowing a little bit of what's going on in there! Baby is [unfortunately] still breech, which slightly disappointments me. I know there is still plenty of time for it to flip, but I really do not want a c-section for too many reasons to list. BUT if that's what it takes to get a healthy baby in my arms, I'll take it without hesitation! Baby is measuring right on time, weighing in at approx 1lb 15 oz - 64th percentile! HR was 142. Baby was looking right at us for the 2d ultrasound, then decided to turn away when it came time to do the 3d part of the ultrasound! <which didn't surprise me too much!> We tried and tried to get it to move - including me jumping around the room - but this little one is stubborn and wouldn't budge! We did get little glimpses of it's face though :) After all that moving & jumping I had another little braxton hicks contraction. I asked the tech if the cord looked ok, and she told me she could see part of it on top of the placenta by the baby's head - which concerns me a little, but I'm trying to not even go there...
After the ultrasound, it was time to see the doctor. My belly is measuring 1.5 weeks ahead, but Dr. G told me I'm a "silent carrier". I definitely don't feel that way, but I will take the compliments where I can get them at this point... even if it's from a dr who is just being nice! :-P When he told me baby was in the 64th percentile I said "that's small", but he reassured me that it wasn't. He said small would be 35th percentile, then made a reference about Sloan. When we left the appointment I told Brady I like that he refers to her as "Sloan" and not "last time" - makes this mommy's heart happy to hear her name spoken and referred to as the human she was, not the pregnancy I "lost". I also asked him about the cord being close to the baby's head, and he said that it was fine, but to continue to keep up with my (baby's) movements and reassured me that we will continue to monitor everything as much as we can. We had a good little chat and once again he told me everything was "perfect" - which is always such a relief! He also put me back on bi-weekly appointments... thank God! Four weeks was WAY too long!!
A year ago - almost to the date (10/3/13) - I had my first "post baby" ultrasound, which was somewhat traumatic for me. I will never forget the feeling of knowing I was about to see my uterus empty for the first time since Sloan. It's a feeling that is completely indescribable - but I made it through and received some answers as to why my body was doing what it was doing (and not doing) at the time. I remember sitting in his office and feeling so defeated after my ultrasound. First we talked to the nurse, who gave us such good information and answered some questions for us before the doctor ever made it back to me - which didn't take long. We talked, and I know I asked questions, but I only remember one: "will I have a healthy baby?". His answer was simple: yes. When he said yes, I asked him if he promised, and he did. So, seeing our perfectly healthy baby in my uterus on an ultrasound at this appointment held so many emotions and was so significant for me!
Maternity clothes: I wore a maternity shirt this week but still mainly wearing scrubs & exercise clothes
Exercise: Yep! 6 days this week! :) - but I'm thinking either my frequency or intensity (or both) will be slowing down in the very near future :/
Wednesday I started having Braxton Hicks contractions that started around 4pm and were consistently inconsistent until I went to bed. At first I thought it was just the baby repositioning itself, but when it kept happening I knew that wasn't it. I also knew it wasn't "real" contractions, but I didn't remember getting braxton hicks this early in the game with Sloan - so of course, a little worry set in! I texted my nurse and told her what was going on. She told me to just rest and push fluids, and that if I had more than 6 in an hour to call my doctor. So I started timing them, and they were by no means consistent which made me feel a little more at ease by the time I went to bed. I wasn't going to work out the next morning, but this internal alarm clock of mine woke me up, so I went anyway. When I got to work Thursday morning I had 5 more small ones within an hour (then stopped counting - but still had a few throughout the day) and decided I probably should have just stayed in bed that morning! Needless to say, when it came time to workout Friday morning I talked myself out of going to give my body a little break. It is so hard for me not to go, because I feel worse throughout the day if I don't go, but I also know I need to listen to my body & do what's best for baby!
Stretch marks: not yet!
Belly button in or out: >in<
Sleep: I haven't felt as exhausted this week - but I would still LOVE to get a little more ;)
What I miss: being the naive pregnant girl that thinks everything is going to be ok...
What I'm loving: feeling my wild child moving all around!
Movement: Baby = lots! It has started to move more on the left side this week; ME = I've started to have battles with the couch/recliner when trying to get out of it! (seems like these struggles are starting way earlier this time around - but I could be wrong!)
Cravings: COFFEE with french vanilla cream was discovered this week... And baby LOVES it!!! & donuts, pig in a blanket, & chocolate milk!! <-- I finally got it Friday thanks to my sweet husband :) &&& iced sugar cookies!!
Queasy or sick: Nope!!
Favorite moment this week: Getting to see a little glimpse of our sweet <but extremely stubborn> baby!
Looking forward to: still can NOT wait to get this baby here & in my arms!
Weight gain: 10 lbs - I started noticing that my rings are really loose, almost to the point of falling off! Completely opposite of what I thought would be happening! I was able to wear my rings throughout my entire pregnancy with Sloan, but I don't remember them ever feeling looser!
Next Appointment: 10/16/2014
Last Appointment: 10/2/2014
Such a big appointment! <for a few reasons!>
This was the dreaded one hour glucose tolerance test day for me! With Sloan I was so confident that it would be a breeze & felt certain that I would pass without any problems... and then: I FAILED! Then came the first attempt at the three hour test - which I threw up within 10 minutes of starting, and FINALLY passed the third time around with flying colors! So to say I was a tad nervous about this one may be a slight understatement. Although I did feel cautiously optimistic since my endocrinologist has been monitoring me so much closer this time compared to how I was monitored on that end of things last time. Thankfully, I PASSED on the first try this time!! Such a relief!
We also had another ultrasound - which always makes me happy! I love knowing a little bit of what's going on in there! Baby is [unfortunately] still breech, which slightly disappointments me. I know there is still plenty of time for it to flip, but I really do not want a c-section for too many reasons to list. BUT if that's what it takes to get a healthy baby in my arms, I'll take it without hesitation! Baby is measuring right on time, weighing in at approx 1lb 15 oz - 64th percentile! HR was 142. Baby was looking right at us for the 2d ultrasound, then decided to turn away when it came time to do the 3d part of the ultrasound! <which didn't surprise me too much!> We tried and tried to get it to move - including me jumping around the room - but this little one is stubborn and wouldn't budge! We did get little glimpses of it's face though :) After all that moving & jumping I had another little braxton hicks contraction. I asked the tech if the cord looked ok, and she told me she could see part of it on top of the placenta by the baby's head - which concerns me a little, but I'm trying to not even go there...
After the ultrasound, it was time to see the doctor. My belly is measuring 1.5 weeks ahead, but Dr. G told me I'm a "silent carrier". I definitely don't feel that way, but I will take the compliments where I can get them at this point... even if it's from a dr who is just being nice! :-P When he told me baby was in the 64th percentile I said "that's small", but he reassured me that it wasn't. He said small would be 35th percentile, then made a reference about Sloan. When we left the appointment I told Brady I like that he refers to her as "Sloan" and not "last time" - makes this mommy's heart happy to hear her name spoken and referred to as the human she was, not the pregnancy I "lost". I also asked him about the cord being close to the baby's head, and he said that it was fine, but to continue to keep up with my (baby's) movements and reassured me that we will continue to monitor everything as much as we can. We had a good little chat and once again he told me everything was "perfect" - which is always such a relief! He also put me back on bi-weekly appointments... thank God! Four weeks was WAY too long!!
A year ago - almost to the date (10/3/13) - I had my first "post baby" ultrasound, which was somewhat traumatic for me. I will never forget the feeling of knowing I was about to see my uterus empty for the first time since Sloan. It's a feeling that is completely indescribable - but I made it through and received some answers as to why my body was doing what it was doing (and not doing) at the time. I remember sitting in his office and feeling so defeated after my ultrasound. First we talked to the nurse, who gave us such good information and answered some questions for us before the doctor ever made it back to me - which didn't take long. We talked, and I know I asked questions, but I only remember one: "will I have a healthy baby?". His answer was simple: yes. When he said yes, I asked him if he promised, and he did. So, seeing our perfectly healthy baby in my uterus on an ultrasound at this appointment held so many emotions and was so significant for me!
Maternity clothes: I wore a maternity shirt this week but still mainly wearing scrubs & exercise clothes
Exercise: Yep! 6 days this week! :) - but I'm thinking either my frequency or intensity (or both) will be slowing down in the very near future :/
Wednesday I started having Braxton Hicks contractions that started around 4pm and were consistently inconsistent until I went to bed. At first I thought it was just the baby repositioning itself, but when it kept happening I knew that wasn't it. I also knew it wasn't "real" contractions, but I didn't remember getting braxton hicks this early in the game with Sloan - so of course, a little worry set in! I texted my nurse and told her what was going on. She told me to just rest and push fluids, and that if I had more than 6 in an hour to call my doctor. So I started timing them, and they were by no means consistent which made me feel a little more at ease by the time I went to bed. I wasn't going to work out the next morning, but this internal alarm clock of mine woke me up, so I went anyway. When I got to work Thursday morning I had 5 more small ones within an hour (then stopped counting - but still had a few throughout the day) and decided I probably should have just stayed in bed that morning! Needless to say, when it came time to workout Friday morning I talked myself out of going to give my body a little break. It is so hard for me not to go, because I feel worse throughout the day if I don't go, but I also know I need to listen to my body & do what's best for baby!
Stretch marks: not yet!
Belly button in or out: >in<
Sleep: I haven't felt as exhausted this week - but I would still LOVE to get a little more ;)
What I miss: being the naive pregnant girl that thinks everything is going to be ok...
What I'm loving: feeling my wild child moving all around!
Movement: Baby = lots! It has started to move more on the left side this week; ME = I've started to have battles with the couch/recliner when trying to get out of it! (seems like these struggles are starting way earlier this time around - but I could be wrong!)
Cravings: COFFEE with french vanilla cream was discovered this week... And baby LOVES it!!! & donuts, pig in a blanket, & chocolate milk!! <-- I finally got it Friday thanks to my sweet husband :) &&& iced sugar cookies!!
Queasy or sick: Nope!!
Favorite moment this week: Getting to see a little glimpse of our sweet <but extremely stubborn> baby!
Looking forward to: still can NOT wait to get this baby here & in my arms!
Saturday, September 27, 2014
Week 25
How far along: 25 weeks!
Gender: SuRpRiSeWeight gain: 9(ish) lbs
Next Appointment: 10/2/2014
Maternity clothes: probably should be wearing them… but still squeezing into whatever I can…
Exercise: Yep! 6 days this week! :)
Stretch marks: nope… still lather up with “stretch mark cream” *almost* daily
Belly button in or out: >in<
Sleep: I NEED MORE!
What I miss: my frequent dr appts!
What I'm loving: baby kicks!
Movement: Baby = lots! & it still seems to prefer the right side for the most part; ME = getting harder to get out of bed, get off the floor, & I think I'm starting to waddle... already! (although my mom has informed me that I've been waddling a little for "quite some time"...)
Cravings: FUNFETTI CAKE!!! I’ve wanted it allllll week long! & donuts, pig in a blankets, & chocolate milk! Friday I saw a picture of a cheeseburger and french fries & HAD. TO. HAVE. ONE!
Queasy or sick: I had such bad indigestion Thursday afternoon that it made me just a little nauseous… but it went away fairly quickly :)
Favorite moment this week: Wednesday morning I decided to listen to baby because I didn’t remember feeling much movement, but as soon as the probe touched my belly it decided to kick it… it's the little things!
Looking forward to: my next dr appt! I can’t wait to find out if this baby has flipped or not… I’ve been trying all week to figure out if what I’m feeling are kicks, hits, or hiccups in a higher part on my belly than usual but can’t seem to… I feel so stupid but I don’t know how to tell the difference! Fingers crossed baby flipped and stays flipped for the next 10ish weeks!
Sunday, September 21, 2014
Week 24
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How far along: 24 weeks!
Gender: SuRpRiSe
Weight gain: 9 lbs
Next Appointment: 10/2/2014
Maternity clothes: this week the only maternity “clothes” I’ve worn are my belly band & bra!
Exercise: still love walking & jogging – but the rain this week prevented it on Thursday and Friday - oh well!
Stretch marks: not yet! {I have a feeling I may not be as lucky this time around as I was last time... my belly is REALLY starting to itch this week!}
Belly button in or out: >in<
Sleep: interrupted regularly (usually around 4am) to empty my bladder! Thursday morning I was woken up by an awful Charley horse!
What I miss: If I HAD to choose something this week, I would say being able to have a few drinks with the girls when we’re celebrating things… but in the grand scheme of things I really don’t miss it THAT much!;)
What I'm loving: call me narcissistic - but I'm loving all the compliments from people lately telling me how "good" I look! It's quite nice when you feel like you hit a growth spurt almost daily! [<-- which I'm loving too!]
Movement: YEP! :) Such a different week in terms of movement… I’ve hardly used my Doppler at all this week! :)
Cravings: not much this week actually – I knew we would be going to the fair Saturday night so of course I was counting down the days until I could get a fair corn dog!!
Queasy or sick: NO!
Favorite moment this week: My dreams…
I had a dream that we went to the hospital the day before we were supposed to be induced, because I was so anxious to get this baby here. Long story short – in my dream I had the same nurse that delivered Sloan, and when she told me it was time to start the medicine I started crying the happiest tears and walked back to my bed to get everything going - when I woke up I felt so happy & hopeful & even more ready for this baby to get here!
Then Thursday night – after receiving a special little gift from a friend with some of Sloan’s pictures - I had a dream about Sloan. Of the many things I question & wonder, I’ve always wondered what her eyes would have looked like. I dreamed that somehow I found a picture of her on my phone with her eyes open, and they were the prettiest, brightest blue! I LOVE having dreams about her and definitely believe they are little visits from her… <3
Looking forward to: my next dr appointment & seeing this little one again!
This was a pretty boring week as far as pregnancy goes... but we did have a pretty eventful week, which made it go by a little faster than last week!
We went bridesmaid dress shopping Wednesday for one of my best friends' wedding in June! The dresses that were chosen are SO comfy! {& of course cute} I almost (but not quite) wish I would still be pregnant for the wedding because it even looked good on my tight, round belly! Hopefully I can get back in shape fairly quickly after baby so it will look just as good on my non-pregnant belly! Motivation, right? After we tried on dresses we had dinner & "drinks"... I enjoyed a soda while the other girls all had mixed drinks, wine, and beer! I was just a *tad* jealous! :P
Thursday I picked up a little labor of love from an amazing friend & was so happy to see the finished products! It may not seem like it sometimes, but I am so private & careful with what pictures of Sloan I choose to share, but I trust her and gave her access to all the pictures I had of her. The quality of the pictures isn't that great because they were just taken on a regular digital camera without the use of a flash, but she agreed to try to do what she could with them. I am so glad I got the pictures that I did, but still wish I had more. And as much as I absolutely LOVE the pictures I do have, it still makes me so sad [& mad] to know that this really did happen & it isn't just a horrible nightmare... I could go on & on about that - but I won't! So anyway... she told me she had ordered something with a few of the pictures, but I had no idea what. When she texted me Sunday that they had come in, my heart started fluttering & sank at the same time - then I saw the pictures & could not wait to pick them up! She put them on a canvas, and in her words it was just "simple & sweet" - which was perfect & just what I was hoping for! :)
one of our simple & sweet canvases :)
Saturday, September 13, 2014
Week 23
Gender: SuRpRiSe
Weight gain: 9 lbs
Next Appointment: 10/2/2014
Last Appointment: We had an endocrinologist follow up this week (I follow up with him every 6 weeks) and everything was once again great! Dr. C said all my labs were perfect, so no adjustments needed to be made to any of the meds he has me on! :) He said I’m “cruising right along” and my next appt with him should be my last during this pregnancy – assuming I pass my glucose tolerance test in 3 weeks!
Maternity clothes: some – but my wardrobe 4 days/week is scrubs so it’s not really an accurate assessment ;)
Exercise: my pace (and my motivation) is REALLY starting to slow down – but I’m trying to stick with it! Jogging/walking is still my exercise of choice!
Stretch marks: nope!
Belly button in or out: in
Sleep: slowly starting to get interrupted in the middle of the night by the need to empty my bladder! (I swear this wild child uses my bladder as a trampoline!)
What I miss: I can't seem to put it in my own words - so I'll use someone else's... "I miss being the 'it won't happen to me' person"... (I've found myself feeling this more this week)
What I'm loving: Being able to see where baby decides to roll/poke its body out at – which tends to usually be on the right side!... although last night it was all over the place!
Movement: YEP! :) - but with any decreased movement {or lack of} I immediately freak out and feel the need to listen to the baby's heartbeat - which has seemed to happen more frequently this week...
Wednesday I had toast + peanut butter and OJ for breakfast and usually baby is super active after ANY meal - so I was expecting it to be extra active after that, but it wasn't. I freaked out and my mind immediately went to the worst possible scenario, so I called Brady to have my doppler brought to me... but once again I just wasn't patient enough & 30 minutes later I felt those sweet baby kicks :)
Cravings: this week: shells & cheese, casa ole,
DQ steak fingers, fajitas, popsicles, chocolate, chocolate shakes... (oink oink)
Sleep: slowly starting to get interrupted in the middle of the night by the need to empty my bladder! (I swear this wild child uses my bladder as a trampoline!)
What I miss: I can't seem to put it in my own words - so I'll use someone else's... "I miss being the 'it won't happen to me' person"... (I've found myself feeling this more this week)
What I'm loving: Being able to see where baby decides to roll/poke its body out at – which tends to usually be on the right side!... although last night it was all over the place!
Movement: YEP! :) - but with any decreased movement {or lack of} I immediately freak out and feel the need to listen to the baby's heartbeat - which has seemed to happen more frequently this week...
Wednesday I had toast + peanut butter and OJ for breakfast and usually baby is super active after ANY meal - so I was expecting it to be extra active after that, but it wasn't. I freaked out and my mind immediately went to the worst possible scenario, so I called Brady to have my doppler brought to me... but once again I just wasn't patient enough & 30 minutes later I felt those sweet baby kicks :)
Queasy or sick: nope!
Favorite moment this week: as bad as it sounds – my favorite part is that this week is over! Time is really starting to drag for me…..
Looking forward to: holding this baby in my arms!!! – it’s like I keep picturing that moment & imagining what it will be like & I seriously can NOT wait!!
Favorite moment this week: as bad as it sounds – my favorite part is that this week is over! Time is really starting to drag for me…..
Looking forward to: holding this baby in my arms!!! – it’s like I keep picturing that moment & imagining what it will be like & I seriously can NOT wait!!
Friday, September 5, 2014
Week 22
How far along: 22 weeks
Gender: SuRpRiSe
Weight gain: 9 lbs
Next Appointment: 10/2/2014
Last Appointment: 9/2/14 - this was a boring one - no ultrasound this time :( But I only gained a pound since my last appointment & belly is measuring a week ahead of schedule :) Heart rate was 148-152... Because of timing & how well things are going, he pushed me back even further & my next appointment was scheduled for FOUR weeks away! I will do my glucose test at that appt & have another ultrasound... Then hopefully I'll go back to more frequent appointments! He asked me if I was feeling "better" about this pregnancy since I got my doppler & can feel so much movement... I told him I still have my same fears & I'm just ready to have this baby, hear it screaming, & know it's ok! Before we left the room he said that everything was "perfect perfect perfect" - which made me happy happy happy :)
Maternity clothes: maternity tops aren't so loose anymore - bottoms are super comfy! Still fitting in some of my "bigger" non-maternity clothes comfortably too - which my wallet appreciates!
Exercise: walking/jogging 4-5 days a week - but a little slower than usual! This week my body felt like one big bruise... Especially my lower back & legs!
Stretch marks: still no new ones that I can see yet!
Belly button in or out: in
Sleep: easy to sleep... Hard to stay comfy on one side...
What I miss: being able to pop my back! --> finally happened Wednesday & felt ahhh-mazing!
What I'm loving: still LOVING this wild child's movements :)))
Movement: LOTS!
Cravings: caffeine + sweets + FOOD
Queasy or sick: nope!
Favorite moment this week: when listening to baby's heartbeat Wednesday night, it kicked so hard that it moved the probe from where I was holding it!
Looking forward to: seeing baby on ultrasound at our next appt :)
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